How Do I Date in My 60s?

Senior Dating

How Do I Date in My 60s?

April Braswell April Braswell
Posted:

It’s a myth that men and women over 60 are no longer interested in physical intimacy and relationships.

Sure, they may experience some different dating challenges than they did when they were younger, but every year countless singles over 60 seek love, find it, and get married. You can, too.

Read on to discover how to navigate this new chapter of your life.

1. Join a Senior Dating Site

The number one venue where you can easily find other attractive and eligible singles in their 60s is a senior dating site. Everyone else on the site is in your age demographic and, by creating a profile, has indicated their interest in dating and relationships.

Here are two of my favorite options:

★★★★★
4.9/5.0

Relationships: Friends, Dates, and Relationships

Match System: Browse by zip, age, appearance, more

Our Experts Say: “Match.com has more "over 50" members any other dating site, and it has a simple matching process that is responsible for millions of romantic connections...” Full Review »

Browse Free: View Photos Now

Match is one of the most established names in the online and mobile dating space, and you can create a free profile within five minutes. It’s also free to browse for matches, receive matches based on the site’s algorithm, send flirts, and finding listings for local Match events.

★★★★★
4.7/5.0

Relationships: Serious Relationships

Match System: Search, Receive Partner Suggestions

Our Experts Say: “EliteSingles caters to highly educated single men and women, and it uses an advanced Fraud Detection System to make sure everyone is who they say they are...” Full Review »

Browse Free: View Photos Now

EliteSingles is great for seniors who value education as almost 100% of its members have earned a bachelor’s, master’s, and/or doctorate degree. You also shouldn’t have any problem finding someone for a relationship on EliteSingles because almost 100% of its members are commitment-oriented.

The thing I love most about dating sites is that they aren’t anything like meeting people at bars, which often cater to a much younger crowd. Senior dating sites provide a perfect replacement for that need in your life.

2. Consider Having a Makeover

Once you get to be over 45, every time you re-enter the dating world, whether it’s after a breakup, divorce, or death of a spouse, you should consider sprucing up your image.

Photo of a woman putting on makeup

Revamping your image will give you a confidence boost.

If you need some inspiration, do a web search on some of your favorite mature celebrities. Or go to the makeup or personal care counter at your favorite department store and ask for help. Or hire a personal shopper who can do all the work for you. Or ask a family member or friend to go shopping with you or rummage through your closet with a discerning eye. You get the idea.

Your new image will put a smile on your face, and that will help you be your most confident self.

3. Attend Local Events, Groups, Classes & Activities

One of the inadvertent benefits of working is you’re actively interacting with people every day. For example, that place you get your coffee en route to the office gives you the opportunity to meet new people and interact with them.

Photo of seniors working out

Think senior workout groups, cooking classes, and dances.

Typically, by the time you’re in your 60s, you’re retired, semi-retired, or rapidly winding down your full-time job. You need to replace some of that interaction. Local events are great for that, and you can find them by checking bulletin boards or visiting Meetup.com, Eventbrite, or Facebook Events.

4. Figure Out Your Dating Pace

Some senior singles may want to go on dates every week, while some may prefer to go on dates every other week. Figure out what works best for you and your lifestyle.

I recommend going on numerous dates and dating more than one person at a time until you’ve got a routine down that you’re comfortable with.

5. Stay Motivated

Whatever your goal may be, whether it’s sex, friendship, personal growth, companionship, dates, or love, you need to make some concerted efforts to achieve that goal. Let your goal be your driving force.

Photo of a note that says I can

Figure out what you want out of dating, and reflect on that every week to make it happen.

Write down your goal (or goals) in a journal and reflect on it weekly. As you do so, you’ll fuel your self-motivation.

6. Turn to Your Friends & Family for Support

Identify those friends and family members who will be supportive and expectant of weekly dating updates from you. Share your dating news with them only. Avoid those who always say things like “It’s hard to find love at your age, “All the good women are taken,” etc.

Photo of senior friends

Your friends and family are there to listen and help you.

Until you’re in a relationship and calling each other boyfriend or girlfriend, I recommend keeping things under wraps confiding only with your circle of trust.

If you can’t think of anyone like this in your life, working with a coach who specializes in senior dating, like myself, can really help. You have someone who is rooting for you and in your corner; someone to email and share your ups and downs and challenges with.

7. Keep With Traditional Dating Behavior

Leaning back on gentlemanly and ladylike behavior will always stand you in good stead when you’re dating in your 60s. The etiquette of your first handful of dates with any new potential mate should be a bit traditional.

A first date should be something quick and casual like going for coffee, drinks, or drinks and appetizers, and you two should meet at the chosen venue. For the second date, the man should pick the woman up at her place, and he should pick up the tab.

Ladies, allow the man to suggest a few places to meet that fit his budget. Don’t suggest meeting at a bar for cocktails that start at $20 each. Guys, it’s OK to suggest an interesting venue with some conversation-prompting ambiance. Maybe not the dive bar, but the cool, locally owned Italian restaurant could be good.

8. Do the Personal Growth Work

After 60, you’ve likely been through a divorce or two, or you’re widowed like I am. Before you fully launch yourself into the world of dating, please do some personal growth work with a good therapist. Aim for working with him or her for three to six months just to exfoliate any of the emotional scars and learn some new healthy communication strategies and relationship skills.

You could also read books about personal growth or attend some workshops and seminars.

You don’t have to have a diploma in dating and relationships, but starting the personal growth work will help you attract people into your life.

9. Be Prepared to Openly Talk About Intimacy

The expectations and timing for intimacy and sex are different when you’re over 60. I’ve found that both senior men and women prefer waiting a bit longer. However, around the fourth date, the subject will probably come up.

Photo of mature couple in bed

If you’re having any issues, which most of us do when we’re over 60, don’t be embarrassed to talk about it.

Men, if you’re having some erectile dysfunction issues, you may want to at least start the conversation with your primary care physician and get a prescription prepared. Or you can go the holistic route and ask the folks in the supplements section of your health food store what they would recommend.

Ladies, now is not the time to look at yourself naked in the mirror and start tearing apart how you look. When you’re in bed with your man, you will be the only lady there, and he will be delighted.

Dating in Your 60s Does Take Effort, But It’s Worth It

Many things are different when you’re dating in your 60s. It does require a strategic approach and some concerted effort, but remember it’s worth it — and you’re worth it. Sharing all of you with another person is worth it. If you want to find love, you can. I’m cheering you on. You can do it. Let your heart be your compass!