Was I wrong in breaking up with him over this issue?

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Was I wrong in breaking up with him over this issue?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    December 12, 2019 at 3:35 am FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

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    sabthefabk
    sabthefabk
    Participant
    June 24, 2019 at 12:54 am #202660
    Was I wrong in breaking up with him over this issue?

    I (20F) met my bf(28M of an year on a dating site-I go to college and he works full time.Recently, his female friend(32F)(also coworker since past 2 years) had a bad date(her date left promptly after he pressured her to have sex and she refused) and asked my bf at midnight if he could go to the beach with her. Now, mind you,I would’ve been totally okay with him supporting his friend under normal circumstances- however, she clearly told him she was drunk when she called him up at midnight.They spent time at the beach and then went back to her place and had noodles. Bf then texted me back very early in the morning telling me about the night.I felt upset, and he reassured me that she’s just like a big sister to him.He kept hanging out with her one on one after that night(mostly going on lunches).She asked him to go the beach again a few weeks later during the day.He asked me if he could go, and silly me, trying to not come off as a controlling gf so early in the relationship said yes.

    sabthefabk
    sabthefabk
    Participant
    June 24, 2019 at 12:55 am #202661

    The next morning I wouldn’t reply to his texts and he profusely apologized, saying he’ll stand outside my house waiting for me the entire day if I don’t come see him.We quickly made up. I told him I’m feeling insecure and would like to meet her a few days ago and bf agreed.He said she’s only available on the weekends knowing fully well that I can’t make it on the weekends.He asked me to send her an fb request and I did.I asked her if she could let me know what happened at the beach to ease some concerns. She flat out ignored the message for a week and I told my bf I couldn’t move on until she replies.He met up with her at work and asked her to reply because things aren’t fine between us and said she won’t ever have to talk to me again after that.She told him she doesn’t want to get involved and that she’s scared of my original nationality and ‘doesn’t want to interact with a Pakistani’ Bf then asked me not to throw away what we have for a stupid b****.

    sabthefabk
    sabthefabk
    Participant
    June 24, 2019 at 8:20 am #202662

    I told him I’m feeling insecure, and I told him I’m not comfortable with him hanging out with her alone.He replied “I’ll just keep my contact with her professional.And be cordial”.Before I broke up,I asked him if he’s still in contact with her on social media or in any way outside of office.He told me the female coworker texted him the other day asking about me and if I’m doing alright, and he said yes.He also said he’s friends with her on facebook, and that he was so swamped with work that it never occurred to him to unfriend her.That makes me even more upset because he wasn’t supposed to reply to any non work related contact.I broke up with him.He said he wished I’d given him another chance.
    I don’t know if I should take him back or move on.Any advice is appreciated

    Brrr in Alaska
    Brrr in Alaska
    Participant
    June 25, 2019 at 6:36 pm #202783

    The bottom line is that your needs were not being met. I think you made the right decision. But like any relationship that ends, there is pain for a while. Eventually you will be able to move on emotionally.

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    June 27, 2019 at 1:23 am #202884

    Whenever you reach a point where you don’t trust your mate the relationship is over.
    If something doesn’t (feel right) to you it’s probably not right (for you).

    I give him credit for keeping you informed about each of the beach visits and his not unfriending her.
    Clearly he doesn’t sound like he’s trying to “sneak” or lie and deceive you because he’s telling everything.

    However when you are insecure and don’t trust someone there is nothing they can do or say that will appease you.
    There is also a 8 year difference and it sounds like you’re in a long distance relationship.
    You mentioned you’re 20 and have been with him for a year which means you were only 19 when you met.

    You would probably be better off dating someone closer to your age and in your local area.
    It’s unrealistic to expect anyone to dump a friend they’ve had two years especially a co-worker.
    At age 32 she probably feels like you’re too immature for her to bother with convincing you they’re just friends.

    jerlove
    jerlove
    Participant
    June 30, 2019 at 11:32 am #203141

    Every Action deserve reaction weather reply was positive or negative ?