Should I stay or should I go now?

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Should I stay or should I go now?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    December 12, 2019 at 2:27 pm FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

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    lostinlove19
    lostinlove19
    Participant
    August 27, 2019 at 10:44 am #206171
    Should I stay or should I go now?

    I’m a young woman in my mid 20s currently dating a guy in his mid 30’s. We have been dating for 7 months now and every time I bring up meeting each other’s friend he gets very uncomfortable. He has told me in the past that he has some social anxiety, so I haven’t been pushing it on him. He still hasn’t asked me to be exclusive either, I should mention. Because of this, I am honest with him that I go on other dates when asked and he gets very possessive. Still nothing changes. He treats me better than any guy I’ve ever been with and I know he cares about me. I have tried cutting it off two times before, but he always apologizes and asks me to be patient with him so I’m trying. I feel like our feelings are getting deeper but I feel like I’m living some weird double life, one to which he is separate from everything else. Should I move on for good or is 7 months not that long? Any comments are appreciated!

    Clueless1899
    Clueless1899
    Participant
    August 28, 2019 at 1:22 am #206213

    I find it very strange that a grown man hasn’t asked you to be exclusive after 7 months or that you’ve not actually met his friends yet. Do you know if he’s tried to get any help for the social anxiety ?

    lostinlove19
    lostinlove19
    Participant
    August 28, 2019 at 10:55 am #206249

    @Clueless1899 I find it strange too and I haven’t asked, but maybe it’s something I could bring up.

    deepviolet
    deepviolet
    Participant
    August 28, 2019 at 2:22 pm #206276

    You’ve been respecting his boundaries and trying to work with it… until this point where your gut obviously feels that you need something more from him, but is this possessiveness a quality you can live with? It doesn’t matter that he treats you better than others did– You aren’t even labeled exclusive, and he’s claiming you in a negative selfish way that represents insecurity and fear, and to me, that would be a red flag. I think 7 months waiting is too long. If he really wanted you, he would’ve made a move way sooner. It sounds like he’s dragging you along for his own gain of having one person to himself while not giving all of himself, and all the while not thinking about what it’s doing to you so it’s at your expense….you already tried cutting it off before? That’s your intuition– I would listen to it and move on.