Should i move on or try harder?

DATING ADVICE FORUM

Should i move on or try harder?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    December 12, 2019 at 1:14 am FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

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    meme
    meme
    Participant
    December 2, 2019 at 3:25 pm #225969
    Should i move on or try harder?

    I’ve been in a 3 month relationship to a super nice guy who is on disability (100% military). I am a professional woman, grown kids. He has one son who is 17 full custody. I feel like we never have time together alone and when we do its talking about cleaning house and what to cook. He does nothing but watch tv, movies, etc. clean, cook. I feel like every time we are together i am really bored. And we have to always have his son since he won’t leave him alone (great young man, not a trouble maker). I am lost here, do i try harder? We have already gone over this before, but i feel like he uses his disability to make me feel “bad” and understand why he finds joy in cleaning.

    Kballer
    Kballer
    Participant
    December 6, 2019 at 6:57 am #226238

    You need to have a frank conversation with him and express how you feel. Tell him exactly what it is you want, that you are not currently getting. This should not be a back and forth conversation.. Ask him to hold his thoughts till the end. If it helps you-write down on paper exactly what you want before you sit down to talk with him. Then, go through that list making it explicitly clear what you want, and what your expectations are. Granted your expectations need to be realistic… After that, the ball is in his court. Words don’t mean shit. Give him some time (a few weeks) to see if he acts on what you talked about. If he is not willing to change to meet you half way.. Not willing to be your partner… You need to cut him loose. If he loves you, he will make it happen. If he is more selfish, than giving.. Nothing will change except your exiting the relationship. Good luck.

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    December 6, 2019 at 10:08 am #226259

    “I feel like we never have time together alone..”
    “He does nothing but watch tv, movies, etc. clean, cook.”
    “..i am really bored.”

    Listen to yourself.
    If it’s this bad after only (3 months) of dating you’re probably with the wrong person.
    Generally speaking people don’t “change” unless (they) are unhappy.
    Very few people are walking around with one hand raised in the air screaming: “I’m looking for someone to change me!”
    Most people want to be loved and appreciated for who they are.

    Life is too short to be trying to change water into wine.
    The goal is to find someone who (already is) what you want in a mate.

    There are only two ways to experience joy and peace of mind in relationships.
    We either get what we want or we learn to be happy with what we have.
    Accept them (as is) or move on. The choice is up to us.
    No one is “stuck” with anyone. Suffering is optional.

    Latemluap
    Latemluap
    Participant
    December 6, 2019 at 2:54 pm #226262

    .