I don't know if I should trust him. Help!

DATING ADVICE FORUM

I don't know if I should trust him. Help!

    Author
    Comments
  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    December 12, 2019 at 1:04 pm FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

    Hey DatingAdvice.com forum readers! Just a quick heads up that a few dating sites are offering a FREE trial to DatingAdvice forum readers. Try it now and meet local singles in just a few minutes! Here are the sites:

    Site Who You'll Meet Today's Deal
    Match.com Casual dating for ages 18-65 Get FREE access
    EliteSingles Educated professionals 25 and older Get FREE access
    Adult Friend Finder Hookups, casual encounters Get FREE access

    What are you waiting for? One mouse click could be all that stands between you and your next romance!

    amyyyyblack
    amyyyyblack
    Participant
    August 1, 2019 at 4:52 am #204666
    I don't know if I should trust him. Help!

    We were together for almost a year and then I broke up with him for various reasons. He pursued me we got back together after 3 months. He says he’s changed and he’s making an effort. He seems to have really heard a lot of what I said and is trying to change a few things that didn’t work well between us.

    However, because trust was an issue previously, I recently couldn’t resist the urge to protect myself and decided to look at his texts. He’s good at talking to I wanted to see if his actions match his words.

    I found texts with a woman he works with. She’s beautiful and quite a bit younger (she’s 27 and we’re 32). He sends her songs for her to listen to and he was trying to persuade her to go to a party last week that she said she was too busy to go to. He had invited me to the same party, but only 2 days before the party. Reading those texts made me realise that he had invited her first and because she couldn’t go, he then invited me. Am I reading too much into this?

    HR PuffnStuff
    HR PuffnStuff
    Participant
    August 2, 2019 at 11:35 pm #204780

    My question is this: Why did you get back together with someone you didn’t trust?

    chrishen
    chrishen
    Participant
    August 3, 2019 at 12:06 am #204781

    He’s trying “monkey branch” by the sounds of it. Grab the new before he’s let go of the previous. That way he always has at least one women. Usually women get the slack for being hypergamous, but men are known to do the same given the opportunity.

    jumly
    jumly
    Participant
    August 5, 2019 at 2:00 pm #204852

    I would not. I would move on because it sounds like he maybe keeping you until something better comes along or he was bored.

    EvaBabe
    EvaBabe
    Participant
    August 6, 2019 at 2:56 am #204887

    Perhaps pull back a bit and see how he reacts. Definitely don’t tell him you looked at his phone. In your gut you probably already have your answer.

    AMPJ0622
    AMPJ0622
    Participant
    August 6, 2019 at 11:40 pm #204965

    No I think he’s keeping you around until he can find someone else and he’ll keep you around as long as you keep being there for them

    mid20s
    mid20s
    Participant
    August 7, 2019 at 2:29 pm #205033

    I probably would not trust him either. And at this point would break up with him for good because if you have to look through his phone to confirm your doubts (instead of talking with him) then you probably will be anxious about if for the rest of your relationship.

    Clueless1899
    Clueless1899
    Participant
    August 28, 2019 at 1:25 am #206214

    In my opinion, as harsh as it sounds, I think he’s holding on to you until he can find someone else. Did you confront him about the texts at all?

    cyclesaround
    cyclesaround
    Participant
    August 28, 2019 at 6:59 am #206220

    OMG…I’m I the same boat but my bf lies about money. All I can say is that after 5 years and lots of promises as well as me leaving him only to reconcile b/c we love each other, I’m miserable!! Run and don’t look behind it only gets a lot harder.

    wabbit
    wabbit
    Participant
    August 28, 2019 at 7:23 am #206226
    Reply To: I don't know if I should trust him. Help!

    Just ask yourself what he would do if the things were the other way around? If you were texting with a colleague and sending him songs etc… the answer is obvious…

    deepviolet
    deepviolet
    Participant
    August 28, 2019 at 2:35 pm #206283
    Reply To: I don't know if I should trust him. Help!

    You are not reading into it too much. While I don’t agree with going behind someone’s back, and think instead you should always talk to the person face to face first… You trusted your gut feeling and it led to you directly to what you needed to know. Now, I wouldn’t waste any more energy on him. Without trust you have nothing, and he’s not giving you any form of security. Like every time you go back to him, it’s going to be the same outcome of feeling there’s no trust. Do you really want that?