Help with a girl

DATING ADVICE FORUM

Help with a girl

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    Wintz89
    Wintz89
    Participant
    August 19, 2019 at 10:31 am #205631
    Help with a girl

    So, there is a girl that has been a part of my friends group/social circle since I graduated college in 2011. Just within the past 3 years or less we have noticed each other more and I had caught on to some flirtatious behavior she was giving at the start of said 3 years. Nothing ever really went beyond that because I was in my last year of active duty military and we were always about 4 states away from each other. We moved on saw other people and none of our respective relationships with other people during those years ever worked out beyond dating for a few months. In 2018 things changed though and we were both single when we went to a mutual friends Jack and Jill combined bachelor/bachelorette party. We were on a party bus and slightly buzzed and when everyone got off the bus she held me back and said “I’m not letting you leave until you give me a kiss” so we kissed for a bit, the night went on and we were close, but nothing further happened. I went back home to another state…

    Wintz89
    Wintz89
    Participant
    August 19, 2019 at 10:41 am #205632

    And she went back home as well. We were out of contact with each other until this past year we met at our mutual friends house for a New Years party 2018 going into 2019. She was single and I was in a complicated long distance relationship that I was ending and again she approached me in a more romantic way. She told me that her favorite part of New Years was the kiss at midnight and since my other relationship was coming to a close I took up her offer. We kissed at midnight and multiple other occasions throughout the night, but nothing further than that. I really like her and wanted to say something about possibly dating, but I said nothing because I was still a few states away. Fast forward to about March 2019, I moved back to town for good after a few things didn’t pan out after the military in the state I was serving in. A few months went by before we got in contact again, but now we text each other and have gone to events together with friends as well as alone, but…

    Wintz89
    Wintz89
    Participant
    August 20, 2019 at 8:04 am #205633

    Knowing the time that has passed I wanted to take things kind of slow and see if she still had feelings for me and I was looking forward to developing a stronger relationship with her that would lead to us dating in the long run. After an event we attended together I was planning on making a move, but held back and immediately started kicking myself because I didn’t. I ended up talking to a mutual friend of ours that she hasn’t talked to much in the past year and asked him if he thinks she likes me in a more than friends sort of way. His answer kind of put me into a panic. He told me that he thinks she likes being around me whether alone or in a friends group, but he thinks that all the past hints of affection that she showed me and I didn’t act on has kind of made me miss any chance with her. Futhermore, his wife is friends with her and he has heard rumors she is “talking to” another guy. At this point I don’t want to give up, but that sort of answer from a good friend…

    Wintz89
    Wintz89
    Participant
    August 20, 2019 at 8:04 am #205634

    Crushed me. Just within the past month and a half she will text me first some days, she answers my texts when I text her and she says yes to suggestions of hanging out and I have paid for things for the two of us and she even has as well. My question for this forum is what should I do? Should I continue to pursue this girl I have strong feelings for and sit her down and express them to her sometime soon? If she is “talking to” another guy should I just let her go? Or is that just a phrase meaning the options are still open? I am terrible at dating and am open to honest suggestions!

    Brutal
    Brutal
    Participant
    August 21, 2019 at 7:32 pm #205921

    Move on man, try daygaming. Your life will change

    random
    random
    Participant
    August 21, 2019 at 11:50 pm #205922

    She definitely has some type of attraction to you. I would say wait til you see her again and talk to her. Just be upfront on how you feel and see where it goes.

    richiro
    richiro
    Participant
    August 23, 2019 at 6:35 pm #206090

    If she is being responsive to texts with you and engaging you and agreeing to see you – yorue’ still in teh ball game. DO NOT SCREW THIS UP AGAIN! Continue pursuing her. Continue to have outtings with her and continue to show her a good time so that when she thinks of you she has positive/fun thoughts.

    Then.. make the move. touch her, hold her hand, kiss her. dont’ keep her waiting much longer either. if she gets into a “is he EVER GOING TO MAKE A MOVE? WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO????” you might just lose her for good.

    Do it! Sack up and be a man for once about this! She’s given you all the green signs to go – now GO!

    spikeyspruce
    spikeyspruce
    Participant
    August 24, 2019 at 5:46 pm #206107

    Definitely don’t give up on it. Also, I wouldn’t lead with the deep romantic feelings right out of the gate. That could seem desperate and rushed. It’s good for her to know that you’re interested, but also not settled on her just yet. It’s good to have some suspense along the way. I think that women love to experience a great story and to be lead on an exciting romantic adventure, a lot more than a dude just saying “I really really like you” followed by “do you like me back”, which is just the male brains way of getting to the damn point and in essence ruining the story by jumping to the conclusion. Why say the obvious when what she wants is to experience it.