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[beehive202]

June 6, 2019 at 10:38 pm #201693

Dump him or marry him?

Looking to poll the public here. Should I break up with my boyfriend or continue to talk about buying houses and getting engaged?

The back story is, we have been dating two years and now live together, I’m 30 he is 36. The first 18 months of our relationship were tough but the last four months he has been actively working on being better but I cannot seem to get over the past.

Here is some of the bullshit I’m trying to get over:
1. Caught him going to an Asian massage place for a rub and tug, 6 months ago
2. Caught him messaging his ex 9 months into our relationship saying he loves her still but he claims it was because he misses the dog, a year ago
3. Caught him multiple times on Omegle, the site you masturbate live with people, 4 months ago
4. He had an issue where he was looking at porn daily and masturbating so much it was impacting our sex live
5. He didn’t work the first 14 months we dated
6. He likes “teenage porn” which seems gross to me
7. He has told me he was worried

[dashingscorpio]

June 7, 2019 at 8:06 pm #201720

Commitment is (behavior) and not a marital status. It should come before there is a wedding.
If you “caught” him doing this many things which disrespected your relationship it’s because you were suspicious..
If you don’t trust someone you shouldn’t marry them. Life is too short to be playing cat and mouse.
Based upon his actions just with #3 which was only (4 months ago) should tell you all you need to know.

“The first 18 months of our relationship were tough…” That should have been a major “red flag”!
Generally speaking the first year is the infatuation/honeymoon phase of a new relationship.
It’s also easier to walk away early on when you’re not so emotionally invested in them.

I’ve always said people “settle” for what THEY believe is (their) BEST option.
Surly you have to know you CAN do better than this. There are 7 Billion other people on the planet!
It is a lot easier to breakup with someone than it is to go through legal process of divorce.
Suffering is optional.