Do I give him a chance?

DATING ADVICE FORUM

Do I give him a chance?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    TheSugarVenom
    TheSugarVenom
    Participant
    October 4, 2019 at 11:38 am #222957
    Do I give him a chance?

    For context, I am 23 year old gay male. Me and this guy (male, 28) met on Tinder talked for a bit. I found him very attractive from his pictures and noticed we have the same passions for music which excited me. I live 2 hours from him so nothing really happened until I was in his town for the weekend and he saw me on Grindr. We hooked up. It was a different kind of hookup for me because we didn’t just have sex. He offered me a drink and then we talked for about an hour while hot tubbing, which was nice. We did hookup and then the next morning he brought me to breakfast and paid for my meal which I found especially sweet. After that, he mentioned me maybe showing him around “my town” in the future. I said “yea” and then we parted ways but I honestly didn’t see me meeting up with him again. That was until he snap chatted me the next day and said how he was interested in me beyond a hookup and wanted to hang out and get to know me (Continued in replies)

    TheSugarVenom
    TheSugarVenom
    Participant
    October 4, 2019 at 11:38 am #222958

    Me being who I am, this immediately made me very interested in him. A man being straight up about his feelings and being interested in me? I figured that’s the perk of seeing someone 5 years earlier.

    So, two weekends later I was gonna be in his town again, so I told him I could meet up, just as he said he wanted to. He said that would be great and he’d have all Saturday off. He never mentioned it again but I figured I’d just hit him up once I was in his town, which I did. But he didn’t reply ALL day Saturday. Very odd. His snap score did not go up and he never viewed my stories. Eventually, he replied around 8PM, apologizing profusely, saying his phone was dead all day. Yea okay, whatever. He asked if I wanted to come over around midnight. I found that so annoying, considering that’s the time people meet up to hook up and he was the one who said he wanted to get to know me for more. I went over anyways, we drank a little, talked, and then had sex again.

    TheSugarVenom
    TheSugarVenom
    Participant
    October 4, 2019 at 2:05 pm #222960

    He said the next morning he’d want to come visit me in my town (once again). We agreed to this weekend. Well,, fast forward to this week. I asked him if he was still planning on coming to my home town. He said he was. He knew he’d have to get a hotel room because I have roommates. I never said I’d pay for half the hotel but I planned on doing so. Throughout the week, he never mentioned coming to visit me this coming weekend as discussed, but I figured, hey, we talked about it, it’ll happen. By Thursday, he still hadn’t mentioned it and for someone who initiated this entire thing, I figured he’d be excited and would at least book a hotel by now. I knew something was up. Thursday night, he texted saying he was asked to perform at a church event with his band Sunday morning and (even tho he had plans with me), he agreed to it, so he would no longer be able to spend the night Saturday in a hotel, but that he’d be more than willing to drive up for the day and hang

    TheSugarVenom
    TheSugarVenom
    Participant
    October 4, 2019 at 2:06 pm #222959

    The next morning, we got breakfast again, both paying for ourselves. He, once again, expressed wanting to come to my town and have me show him around. We agreed on this weekend.

    Well, fast forward to this week. I asked him if he was still planning on coming to my home town. He said he was. He knew he’d have to get a hotel room because I have roommates. I never said I’d pay for half the hotel but I planned on doing so. Throughout the week, he never mentioned coming to visit me this coming weekend as discussed, but I figured, hey, we talked about it, it’ll happen. By Thursday, he still hadn’t mentioned it and for someone who initiated this entire thing, I figured he’d be excited and would at least book a hotel by now. I knew something was up. Thursday night, he texted saying he was asked to perform at a church event with his band Sunday morning and (even tho he had plans with me), he agreed to it, so he would no longer be able to spend the night Saturday in a hotel…

    Psychology Major
    Psychology Major
    Participant
    October 8, 2019 at 11:30 pm #223096

    Absolutely not, do not give him another chance!!!! What he is doing and how he is behaving does not reflect or validate what he is saying “interested in getting to know you more beyond hookup”. Seems to me that he made a real good impression in the beginning and you are still holding on to that and this is why you are conflicting because it’s (your feeling and your schemas) contradicting.

    This timeframe seems to have happened in about one month, do you really want to keep going on with this same disappointment and uncertainty for a year, two, or three and then realize you have reach your limit? You would have waisted you time on someone who is truly not respecting you, your time, and affection.

    Determine your self worth, and save yourself time and heartache. “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” ~Maya Angelou

    MissJ1234
    MissJ1234
    Participant
    October 22, 2019 at 2:11 am #223805

    Yeah don’t give that chance… it will cost you your happiness.. but if you want to struggle that much then go ahead..