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FishingawayParticipantAugust 17, 2019 at 10:14 pm #205599
I have never been married and have no children. I partied it up a lot and had many dating and short term gf’s. However, I was too involved with myself, hooking up to make any commitments. Now I am older and have matured but made many mistakes. I also acquired genital herpes. I have found the Lord and my life couldn’t be better, however quite lonely. I’m content with myself now but know my past has consequences I have to deal with and accept. If I do date, I want to refrain from sex as I only want to date to look for marriage and not have sex til marriage. For someone who had lots of sex, now I want to live pure if you will.
I guess my question is if I should put myself out there and date with my circumstances. I accept my past mistakes and am willing to live celibate and alone. So am I a turn off to women? Or should I still hope that a woman would accept me?
spikeyspruceParticipantAugust 23, 2019 at 6:06 pm #206084
Definitely put yourself back out there. Herpes is too heavily stigmatized, and really isn’t that big of a deal. Most of the population carries herpes, and of those some are lucky enough to exhibit symptoms. Also, women are a bit more likely to contract herpes than men, so the math would suggest that there’s a good chance that you’ll date someone who’s already carrying it, and may be scared to have that conversation with you. By you being upfront about it you’ll show her that you’re courageous and trustworthy. Now that’s a big turn on!
richiroParticipantAugust 23, 2019 at 6:48 pm #206095
what.. so maybe never date again your whole life? Preposterous.
nobody is perfect and growing up is ABOUT MAKING MISTAKES so you learn from them. Nobody is better than you.
but definitely be honest with whomever you date about the std’s. and protect them. health is above dating always.
i woudl also dial it back a bit and just have fun and get to know people before you tag the “marriage or bust” thing on them. yes of course you make it clear that you’re interested in finding a long-term relatoinsihp… but i foudn in my past that when i was looking for that and that ADAMANT about it – i did huge dis-service to the gal and me (uintentionally and unknowingly) because all i was doing was judging their “future wifeynes and kids” rather then just getting to know them and see if we were a good team. know what i mean?
Just have fun and get to know them and have fun with them as fellow human beings you’re attracted to. the rest will work itself out over time.
lostinlove19ParticipantAugust 27, 2019 at 10:34 am #206170
You don’t have to condemn yourself to a life of solitude. You just have to be honest about your std when you think you’re ready and wanting to become intimate with a woman. Let her get to know you and present the option of continuing a relationship when the time comes.
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