Come clean ?

DATING ADVICE FORUM

Come clean ?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    December 12, 2019 at 6:19 am FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

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    ghost86
    ghost86
    Participant
    October 28, 2019 at 4:26 am #224065
    Come clean ?

    I have been communicating with this women through social media for about a month.. shortly I will hopefully be meeting her for the first time not necessarily a date but maybe have some coffee or grab a quick bit. We sext & both have said we like each other & that we have a mutual sexual attraction despite not seeing each other in person. We are friends as of now we only communicate through social media. She lives out of state , a 40 minute drive away. Previously I explained to her my “situation “ & that I won’t be able to constantly see her ( like everyday) she seemed fine with it.

    But my dilemma is I’m feeling a little guilty because I lied about something pretty big . I told her I currently had a job when I do not. But now I feel like I should tell her because I’m kind of feeling her & she’s feeling me and I don’t want to lie to her BUT since we live so far away I’m thinking just keeping my mouth shut , because she will probably not know when I am back on my feet or not.

    ghost86
    ghost86
    Participant
    October 28, 2019 at 8:17 am #224066

    I REALLY REALLY do not want to lie to her but I don’t want her to leave which she probably will. Also if I should come clean I’d like to Do it in person when we first meet or afterwards. Or just shut up because she will probably not know when I’m back in my feet since we aren’t in close proximity to each other ..

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    November 5, 2019 at 9:12 am #224677

    “We are friends as of now {we only communicate through social media}. She lives out of state ”
    Sounds like a potential catfish. Don’t be surprised if she’d never available to meet in person.

    Secondly you are getting way ahead of yourself.
    You are NOT in a relationship and no one owes anyone any explanations at this point.
    Find out if you actually do have chemistry (if) or (when) you meet in person.

    It’s human nature for people to want to put their best foot forward when they are attracted to someone.
    Don’t be too surprise if she hasn’t been completely open with you either.
    Eventually you will find another job which by the way should be your MAIN focus.

    Lastly avoid making the mistake of acting like you’re already in an exclusive relationship with her!
    You should be keeping your options open by pursing and dating other women.
    After all there is no such thing as being “exclusive friends”.
    My guess is you’re not the only guy she sexts with.
    Until you guys actually become a “couple” assume she is also keeping her options open as well.
    A 40 minute drive isn’t that long of a commute. You should have met in person by now!

    ghost86
    ghost86
    Participant
    November 5, 2019 at 11:25 pm #224732

    We will meet in person in a couple weeks.. I’m not being catfished we have video chat a few times but I explained to her I probably won’t be able to see her as often as she’d like. She seems really into me so I doubt she’s dating other guys but whatever. My concern is if I should even tell her @ all , I don’t want her to fall for me then feel disappointed but I also don’t want to kill this before and if it takes off. I could just keep my mouth shut since we don’t live close she will never know. I am keeping my options open & more importantly I’m looking for a job.. it feels so emasculating being without a job smh

    georgyy076
    georgyy076
    Participant
    November 6, 2019 at 8:20 am #224735

    If you sincerely want her she could motivate you to be back on your feet if the feelings seem to be real enough, I am sure you wouldn’t want to disappoint ya girl

    ghost86
    ghost86
    Participant
    November 7, 2019 at 9:13 am #224794

    What do you mean dissappoint her ?. idk but she has told me she can’t stop thinking of me , idk if she just wants some d*** or something more , she has told me she wants something more but my current situation besides jobless will make it difficult to see her frequently maybe on weekends when I can sleep over lol.. We’ll see. We are meeting in a week , question I was thinking about telling her hey Iets go to such & such place place or let her decide where she wants to go.. I was thinking coffee shop, not drinks since it’ll be daylight and I have to drive. What you think let her pick or tell her hey we going here..

    ghost86
    ghost86
    Participant
    November 7, 2019 at 10:25 pm #224842

    We recently shared nudes.. we are going to meet in 2 weeks. She shared that she will not have sex with me until we are exclusive which was good to hear. I feel like I am going to tell her when/ if things get serious I don’t want to lead her along by lying but I REALLY want to have sex with her .I have gotten an interview call but the pay was less then I get for unemployment. If worse comes to worse I can go back to my old job but if another opportunity presents itself I will have to think long & hard before I leave again. I left the job I was in for 6 years to pursue another job but that didn’t pan out. Timing is everything in life!!!’

    ghost86
    ghost86
    Participant
    November 9, 2019 at 6:46 pm #224935

    Uggghh , she is frustrated because I have waited so long to meet her, we have been talking for about a month on social media and now more recently video chatting but she feels I’m playing games with her because we haven’t met yet even when I’m in town. I think I’m going to have to go sooner then intended to show her I’m serious.I told her I’d meet her next time I’m in town but now she has a “family thing” to go to smh.. I’m still going to hit her up that day anyway, I feel that after she lets meets me she will have gotten her “fix” and not kill this potential relationship.she basically told me she isn’t going to wait around forever which I understand. She’s waited this long what’s one more week. I think I’m going to go sooner then expected.

    How can I right the ship?

    ghost86
    ghost86
    Participant
    November 9, 2019 at 6:48 pm #224936
    Reply To: Come clean ?

    Next time I won’t mention I’m going out that what got her mad you have time to go out but not with me is basically her gripe.

    ghost86
    ghost86
    Participant
    November 9, 2019 at 7:22 pm #224937
    Reply To: Come clean ?

    She’s upset so I’m not going to contact her for a few days hopefully she cools off. Damn I’m really attracted to her physically & sexually as she is to me. So I’m going to do what I have to do ( see her sooner then expected ) I explained to her I can just go “on a whim to go see you which she was fine with. But the delay of this initial meeting is getting to her, that or she is horny AF she texted me like two weeks ago saying she “wanted me” , then after the nudes she told me “come over” but I thought she was joking which she didn’t like lol. so this has a chance but it’s disappointing that she now seems to not want to give me that chance. She “cancelled “ on me for our future meeting we’ll see what happens that day if she has room for me if not , I’m going to try ONE more time to meet her if she doesn’t , I’m done. 🤞

    toriabulous
    toriabulous
    Participant
    November 18, 2019 at 8:15 am #225211
    Reply To: Come clean ?

    There should have been a meet by now that you both make time and space in your day to portray. Don’t say anything to her about your job status and if you decide to do so, say you’re laid off – don’t say you don’t have one at all. Let her know your concentration is into moving from your job to a bigger and better job. Stop canceling and have her know she can’t either (in a nice way, tho’). It should not be a Sex thing either even if you like each other beyond just Sex. Let the next meet edge to Sex happening, not the first one…

    ghost86
    ghost86
    Participant
    November 18, 2019 at 2:09 pm #225262
    Reply To: Come clean ?

    Ok we finally met , it went well, she was laughing & she hugged me tight & touched my inner thigh 🤣.. remember I said we’d been talking for a long time so I felt comfortable as she did. I remembered things she told me & made jokes about the things around us. Anyway I don’t know if

    I should tell her the truth right now or wait until things start to become more serious? Or let her know now that she isn’t as emotionally invested in me.. I lie everyday when she asks how work is smh lol.

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Inactive
    November 20, 2019 at 6:02 am #225398
    Reply To: Come clean ?

    Just shut up because he’ll never know when I’m getting back on my feet because we’re not close to each other.Or If I have to be clean I want to do it in person when I first meet or after.

    ghost86
    ghost86
    Participant
    November 22, 2019 at 1:54 am #225590
    Reply To: Come clean ?

    Ginac I wish it was that simple , lol. I need a career not a job I’m too old for a job lol. Smh this fucking sucks , feels so emasculating. I probably shouldn’t even be moving forward with this chick until I get a job… but we REALLY connect. She’s the wall outlet & im the plug ( lol no we haven’t done it yet) just a coffee date , I went to her ) I’m thinking for next “date” I ask her to come to me , she doesn’t have a car though if she does come she will earn major points in my book

    BreakingPoint
    BreakingPoint
    Participant
    November 22, 2019 at 4:59 am #225593
    Reply To: Come clean ?

    If she’s truly into you, she should come meet you next time. In this day and age, it shouldn’t all fall on the guy to make the moves. Women need to make an effort too! About the job thing, just keep searching. You don’t owe her any explanation at this point. Now…if things get serious, as in, you get in a relationship, it will probably put a strain in things. I say this because if she sees you as potential for a lifelong partner, well, she will understandably expect you to do your part in the relationship, if you guys move in together, etc. Who knows, she may be supportive and say unemployment check is okay and that you two can figure out how to make things work. But, if you present the option of a serious relationship, you should tell her your current situation before a decision is made. If anything, if it doesn’t pan out, you will see her true character. If all goes well, she’s a wonderful person that will understand and tell you its okay, and support and help you as she can!

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