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momof2ParticipantJune 29, 2019 at 8:20 am #203109
I have been dating a man for 2 years and he lives with me and my kids when he’s not with his son. When he has his son they stay at his house. I met his son one time for a brief couple minutes when we first started dating. Now I’m not allowed to be around him. He says his son will hate me. Is he protecting his son from me or is he protecting his ex from what his son will tell her? His son is in middle school so old enough to understand and be difficult at the same time. Should I be concerned that this will never happen? I have met the rest of his family so he’s not ashamed of me.
dashingscorpioParticipantJune 29, 2019 at 5:51 pm #203133
If is the worst of your relationship problems count your blessings!
It wouldn’t surprise me if his ex told him she didn’t want her son around you.
Some mothers are extremely territorial when it comes to their ex and other women.
Maybe things will change if you ever get married or when his son is high school.
There are only two reasons why this should concern you.
1. You believe he is still hooking up with his ex and does not want to confuse his son.
2. On some level you believe your not spending time with his son is proof the relationship isn’t moving towards marriage.
If neither of these apply to your situation you should let it go.
brm51ParticipantJuly 2, 2019 at 2:14 am #203190
I find it a little strange in two years youve only met his so once? I’m a single parent and after a while I would want the woman I’m with to get to know my kids and start to be around them some of the time.
AnonymousInactiveJuly 5, 2019 at 7:19 pm #203296
Ask him directly what are his concerns for you not meeting his son. Maybe his son behavioral problems? or he feels he is not ready yet?
FemaleFriends123ParticipantJuly 15, 2019 at 8:41 am #203634
If you guys are living with each other, it seems quite odd that he doesn’t want to let you meet his son. I think there’s more to it than just him not wanting you to be around his son. It could be that his son has already expressed his dislike for the relationship you both have. And it is pretty normal for a child to feel that way since his family has been split up. Ask your partner what’s what, and tell him that you need complete honesty from him. Be sure to assure him that you both are on the same side.
lilredwriterParticipantJuly 15, 2019 at 10:08 am #203674
Honestly, I would issue an ultimatum. I understand waiting a while to introduce children to partners — if it ends, it can create emotional stress for the kids after already experiencing a divorce. But as a single woman without kids myself, I have little patience for it dragging on. After all, your life is an open book. You are banned from the most important part of his. It’s critical to be able to be a part of all areas of his life if it has any long-term potential. What if YOU don’t like his kid? You need to be able to see how you feel as part of all of that to decide if it’s right for you. I was in this situation with someone who was talking about marriage and I said I wouldn’t even consider marriage until I met his daughters and developed a relationship with them. He refused and said he wouldn’t introduce them until we were engaged. I broke it off and 5 years later, he’s still single.
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