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Rey HysterioParticipantOctober 31, 2019 at 11:54 am #224437
So, I recently started moving on from a girl who rejected me after finding out my feelings for her. Looking back, while I know that attraction isnt something that can be fully controlled, I see that my approach was not ‘right’…I was too impulsive that it became obvious to her in our second convo that I liked her.
In order to move past this mistake, how should I approach girls I like? I see contradictory advice on the net, some pple say be direct from the start, others say be friends first…so which is which? Which approach is ideal when trying to get with a girl?
Rey HysterioParticipantNovember 3, 2019 at 1:53 am #224531
@gilly247: I’m annoyed with the spamming in these forums by bots. If you’re real and have advice, just give it here, I’m not sharing personal stuff like my email online.
JustAGuy92ParticipantNovember 3, 2019 at 8:15 am #224533
My personal opinion would be to go with the flow, of it feels right then it feels right. I think it’s always best to start as friends..(whilst getting to know each other better) .. then everything else should fall into place if it’s meant to be .. 🙂 most of all just be yourself
Jack_PParticipantNovember 3, 2019 at 4:09 pm #224541
I’d say in general, if you manage to stay calm and be yourself, it works wonder. Because the thing is, sometimes when you really like a girl, you don’t behave like yourself anymore. You either get nervous, or put her on a pedestal, or try to get her attention at all costs. Instead, you should just be calm and collected. And pay attention to the way she behaves with you, and her body language. Some girls will give you very clear hints that they want you to make a move. Perhaps they are not even aware of that. You should not approach a girl if you do not see any display of interest towards you. Try not to focus on one particular girl; try to understand female psychology instead. Be funny and lighthearted if you can, make her laugh, be confident. Be yourself. The key is to find the right balance between the two things you said – being friendly and being direct. They need to be attracted to you, and they need to trust you. And if you get rejected, it’s not a big deal! Happens to all of us
dashingscorpioParticipantNovember 4, 2019 at 1:03 am #224548
Never go with the “being friends” route.
It’s a cowardly dishonest approach and usually at best puts you in the “friend zone”.
Oftentimes once a woman finds out you had an hidden agenda by pretending to be her friend it’s not good.
Generally speaking if a guy asks a girl out she should know he is attracted her!
Most guys have no interest in investing time and money on girls they are NOT attracted to.
However women on the other hand have been known to say “yes” to going out with guys they have NO romantic interest in!
There are various ways of being “direct” to show a woman you are romantically interested in her.
Flirtatious banter, sexual innuendo, asking them out on a date, leaning in for a good night kiss, or holding hands while walking…etc
Eventually one learns to read signals and reactions to what is being said/done to gage if the attraction is mutual.
Unfortunately rejection is a part of life.
In a world with over 7 billion people rejection just means: Next!
MidnightRainParticipantNovember 4, 2019 at 8:24 am #224538
My advice would be to become friends with her first. If you find you have a lot in common or just connect really well, then try asking her out when the time is right. Try to look for signs that she is or isn’t interested in you, and go from there.
HiddenParticipantNovember 6, 2019 at 3:50 pm #224753
Be confident. Dont ever see her as superior to you, even if she is popular, beautiful and has everything in the world. If you look up to her and see her as a greater being then you will be so nervous and flustered. Remember that you are unique and attractive, and if she doesnt like you then thats her loss because you deserve someone who likes you.
I wouldnt take the friend approach, girls like to have guy friends wrapped around their finger to boost their confidence and if you get in that situation you will just be heartbroken, unless you actually just want to be friends. If you want to talk to her with the intention of becoming something more than friends then be flirty and straight up. If she is interested she will appreciate you being up-front and she will reciprocate the flirting. If not, move on because there are endless amounts of girls who share the same characteristics that you see in her.
AnonymousInactiveNovember 11, 2019 at 3:30 pm #224945
I will give you advice which is personally used is Before you worry about what you are going to say or do to approach girls, you first need to understand when you should approach them. Oftentimes, timing can mean the difference between being ignored and winning a date.
sera2775ParticipantNovember 20, 2019 at 8:58 pm #225488
I concur with a lot of what other respondents have said. Regarding your query about the ‘right’ approach, my thought is that there isn’t a right approach in the main when it comes to the scary prospect of putting yourself out there.
Apart from the obvious – be well groomed, respectful, not drunk !, etc., – it depends on the situation; and there are so many variables to take into account when you ask a girl out, e.g. is she in a hurry, a bad mood, on her period, wrong time for her, that you may not know. Or she isn’t interested could very well be the case.
You say that you rushed in to ask her out; you could use this as a learning experience and try it out the next time.
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